To Willing Conflators Of Archibald Lampman And Jeremy Todd (sixty second letter)

Dear Friends,
I find myself, yet again, approaching a condition of philosophy.  In a little while I shall no longer care whether people pay any attention to me or not, whether those I love return my affection or not, whether anyone considers these not sent letters or reads them when they are posted.  When I have actually reached that point I believe I shall be happy.  I already well began the process of self-abnegation by starting this project.  I no longer grumble at work, for I have given up for good and all the notion of creating anything large and important.  Hereafter I shall be well content to produce such things as the nature of my disposition and the circumstances of my life permit.
All our troubles in reality proceed from nothing but vanity encouraged by capitalism (if we track them to their source).  We form an ideal of ourselves and claim what seems to be due to that ideal.  The ideal of myself is entitled to love and approbation from my fellow creatures, but the love and approbation does not appear, and I fret and abuse the constitution of things.  To the ideal of myself money and power and practical success are no doubt due, but they do not come, and again I abuse the constitution of things while allowing myself to be exploited by others.
It is necessary for each of us, when we reach maturity of understanding to take ourselves carefully to pieces and ascertain with pitiless accuracy just what we are, then we must adjust our attitudes to life accordingly and adhere to them.  From here we can become true historical agents and change the way things are.  If we would only do this we would have good faith, purpose and less conflict, and we should suffer infinitely less.  It’s what I keep trying to realize, here and now, with this project.
Yours affectionately,

jeremy