To Those Going On After The End (first letter)

Hello There!
I’m not sure if I’m writing to myself here too.  Who knows how I’ll feel or what I’ll be thinking when it’s all over?  All I have for now are questions.  They’re what I’ve got to give and I want you to have something.  They were forming for me long ago — in the late seventies I think.  The world was supposed to be ruined at any moment by nuclear war.  It was hard to relax.  The “day after” entertainments of the era left me in childish hysterics.  There seemed to be no way out of horrible suffering and death (I hadn’t yet realized this was, for most, the standard package in life regardless).
I wonder if you’ll ever have the attention I’m giving you now?  What will feed and affirm you after the end?  Have you amassed enough dried food stuffs and iodine tablets?  Have you ever had a sense of security?  How will you be able to establish safe territory and develop somehow from what and where you’ve been?  Have you kept old paper maps?  Are you setting aside batteries and a transistor radio?  Will you ever possess a sense of control and autonomy?  Despite all of the responsible choices you’ll ever possibly make, will you inevitably be strangled by the tentacles of chaos?  How will you ever know?  Do you have a gas mask, fire starters, wool socks and a raincoat?
What will survival mean to you once you’ve pulled it off?  Will it be purpose enough?  Have you tucked away a harmonica, a deck of cards, fishing line and hooks?  Will you find friendship and community, an acceptance of who you are (what it is you’ve become)?  Who’s going to care for you beyond their own needs for intimacy and acknowledgement (and whatever day-to-day struggles might require)?  Do you have a good tarp and first aid kit, book of edible plants and multi-tool?
Have you tried cutting your own hair yet?  Do you think you might talk to yourself out loud and go about naked in warm weather?  Have you collected bootlaces and favorite pictures?  Will you come for me and others as things start again?  Are you waiting to find out?
jeremy