To Ambition (first letter)

You’re a piece of work.  I know you know this and don’t care, so I’ve had a hard time accepting that you’d ever be concerned, let alone moved to action, over what’s best for me. Thank you for providing this new template idea for continued output with the Not Sent Letters project.  It’s remarkable.  Productivity (while perhaps only for its own, existentially terrified sake) awaits!  I’m genuinely surprised by the gesture, given that our relationship has grown increasingly strained over many years now and nothing has ever suggested to me that it might improve before my death.
In deploying this gift for the first time below, you had to be my inaugural addressee:
Dear Ambition,
Despite an increasingly burdensome itinerary, I choose to contribute the time, energy and thoughtfulness necessary to genuinely reflect on and convey, to myself as much as to you, whatever is at issue, stake or of interest, or might be found to be some, all, or none of these things, within this particular process of considering us.

I cannot allow myself to lose touch with possibility. In short, I will not be an artist who takes us, or the public visibility of my engagement with us through the context of this project, as necessary, unnecessary or for granted.
This is only a beginning (and/or return). 
Sincerely,
jeremy